Transitional Insights
Suggested Reading
Should I Leave or Should I Stay?
After the Affair
By Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D., explains to partners how they can help themselves through the crisis of an infidelity. She discusses whether or not trust and forgiveness are possible after an affair.
Intimacy After Infidelity
By Steven Solomon, Ph.D. and Lorie Teagno, Ph.D., help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and whether you can remain in your relationship or choose to move on.
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether To Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship
By Mira Kirshenbaum discusses how bad does a relationship have to be before getting out is the only answer and ways to determine your personal bottom line.
Contemplating Divorce or Divorced
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
By Abigail Trafford charts the emotional journey of divorce, in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life. For anyone who has divorced or is considering taking that step, this offers a sense of hope and confidence.
Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages
By Dr. Robin Smith addresses the unspoken needs, unasked questions, expectations, and hidden agendas that often linger beneath the surface of wedding vows---and later cause failure in marriages. This book is appropriate for those planning marriage, suffering in an unhappy marriage, divorced, or wanting to achieve more satisfaction and intimacy in their relationships.
General Divorce
The Complete Divorce Recovery Handbook
By John Splinter, gives a clear picture of where things went wrong and how to avoid the same mistakes in the future. The author discusses feelings, forgiveness, dealing with your ex and your children, healing and wholeness. Also includes a biblical perspective.
The Healthy Divorce
By Craig Everett and Sandra Everett, provides the tools to more peacefully negotiate the difficult process of divorce; how to separate yourself from the marriage emotionally; how to defuse a dispute before it escalates; ways to handle an uncooperative ex.
50 Ways to Love Your Leaver: Getting on with Your Life After the Breakup
By Dr. Dwight Webb. Although the title might appear flippant or lacking in empathy, Dr. Webb offers a sensitive, compassionate, insightful, rational and extremely helpful guide through the maze of personal rejection and its aftermath.
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends (3rd edition)
By Drs. Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti is a widely used approach to divorce recovery that has made the divorce process less traumatic, even healthier for readers. They often comment, “He seems to know exactly what I’m feeling”.
Divorce and Parenting
The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart
By Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a binuclear family. This book provides guidelines for raising healthy, well-adjusted children during divorce.
Joint Custody with a Jerk
By Ross Corcoran offers a hands-on, practical guide with many proven communication techniques that will not only help readers deal with a difficult ex-husband or ex-wife by describing examples of common problems, but also teach them how to examine their roles in sticky situations.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House
By Isolina Ricci guides separated, divorced, and remarried parents through the hassles and confusion of setting up a strong, working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make loving homes for the kids.
Vicky Lansky’s Divorce Book for Parents: Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce and Its Aftermath
Gives parents age-specific advice on what reactions to expect from their kids and tips to cope with divorce realities.
Inspirational Reading
From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce
By Donna Ferber, LPC, LADC, is full of wisdom and advice for any woman experiencing the pain and disappointment of divorce. This compilation of 365 one-page essays that offers inspiration, insight and information can be used for help on a specific topic or as a day-to-day companion.
Spiritual Divorce: Divorce As a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life
By Debbie Ford shows how the devastation of divorce can become a profound transformation as we overcome toxic emotions and begin to open ourselves to the gifts of a new life, embracing its lessons of wholeness and serenity.
Starting Over: Meditations for Divorced Women
By Ellen Sue Stern: the empowering reflections in this reassuring book illuminate your path to a new, independent beginning. Filled with guidance and encouragement, hope and humor, this uplifting meditational is a wise and constant companion as you honor and heal your broken heart.
Dating (not until you’ve done your inner work)
Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance
By Sharon Romm, M.D. offers the safest and most efficient way to find dates and to begin dating again. Expect advice on who pays for what, when to have sex, how to deal with jealousy, second families, former spouses and how to end the relationship if necessary.
Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads
By Donna Ferber combines lessons in self-awareness and language with wisdom and wit. The result is an invaluable tool for Baby Boomers who are exploring the world of internet dating. This book can help you craft a better profile and assist you in finding the love you want.
Miscellaneous “Classics” of Self Help
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
By Melody Beattie is for those who have become so absorbed in other’s problems that they don’t have time to identify or solve their own; for those who need to, or try to, control events and people around them because they themselves feel out of control. Helps readers understand that letting go will set them free.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
By Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. Dr. Lerner teaches women and men to identify the true sources of anger and use it to create lasting change.
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
By David Burns, M.D. outlines remarkable techniques that can lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life, enabling you to recognize what causes your mood swings; nip negative feelings in the bud; deal with guilt; handle hostility and criticism; overcome addiction to love and approval; and build self-esteem.
Guilt Is the Teacher, Love Is the Lesson
By Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. Guilt is the self-defeating inner voice that calls forth the lost, fearful child within. It is the relentless, accusing voice of blame with which we punish our selves for failed relationships, disappointing careers, and even our illnesses. This is a life-affirming book that can help free us from fear and guilt.
Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living
By Robert Alberti and Michael Emmons, 25th Anniversary, 7th Edition: is highly recommended by mental health professionals and described as the assertiveness “bible”.
What’s New?
The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists
By Rokelle Lerner is especially validating to those who have been in a relationship with someone with some narcissistic features to one with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If you are baffled that the person you fell in love with, who used to treat you so lovingly and thoughtfully, suddenly acts like you are an annoyance—or worse, the enemy, this book will help you understand the dynamics of the most addictive bond there is. You’ll learn to stop blaming yourself and stop taking things personally when in a relationship with a narcissist.
